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Funny Old Football's Bizarre Traditions

Sunday 19th February 2017
Football has often been described as a funny old game and, quite frankly, it can get a bit bizarre at times. There are so many traditions and weird rules enforced that the sport wouldn't make much sense if you explained it to someone whose never encountered it before – here are a few of the more unusual footballing traditions that really need to go away.

Kit Change at Half Time



When replica shirts cost £45 each (minimum), it's a bit odd that players are forced the change their entire kit for the second half of the match. Even if the player has no discerning stains, sweat patches or damage to the shirt whatsoever; they have to replace all of their clothing – WHY!?

If a player gets a blood injury at any time and has to replace their shirt; they come on with no name or number – why not use the second shirt as a blood injury back up!?

Elaborate/Topical Goal Celebrations



This could be labelled as goal celebrations in general to be honest. In similar team sports, such as Hockey and Rugby, players congratulate a goalscorer on the way back to the halfway line to get the game underway once again – football doesn't quite work that way.

No matter the situation; when a goal is scored footballers lose all of their senses and run/dance around like utter lunatics wasting a lot of time that isn't ever recovered. Even in the 1999 Champion's League Final; Teddy Sheringham levels the game with a minute to play and still runs around like an utter moron – just stop it now.

Keeping the Match Ball



In football, for some reason, it's considered very impressive if a striker can score three times in a single game – many of them are paid hundreds of thousands a week to score; they should be getting three a game for that money!

It's bizarre enough that players are hailed as footballing gods if they score three – they also take home the dirty, probably damaged match ball with the match information scrawled on it in Sharpie next to their signature. What's the point; the ball is changed multiple times during the game, who knows which is the ‘real' match ball!?

Throw In's



It is a known rule that no outfield player may handle the ball during play, unless you're Diego Maradona, so why is it mandatory that the ball be thrown back into play if it crosses the side touchlines?

Surely the ball should be kicked back into play? It is FOOTball after all but no; we'll adhere to this insane decision that the ball can't be handled except when it's being thrown in. Because that makes sense, apparently.

Mascots

Here's your gimme – just stop with the big fuzzy characters that scare children more than entertain them.

Indirect Free Kicks



If a player is fouled and the referee decides to blow his whistle, it's the official's decision as to whether the resulting free kick can be struck directly on goal or if the players can have a crack at the ‘keeper.

There are rules as to when an in-direct free kick can be awarded, which I won't go into, but I just don't see the point of them – players just lay the ball off to the striker anyway! It makes no sense at all!!
Kristian Webb
A Manchester United fan who actually knows where Manchester is; I'm the chief writer for AccumulatorTips, ForzaSwansea and a contributor to WhatCulture's video game section. I'm a professional proofreader, content author and SEO Expert but that doesn't mean there won't be the odd grammatical error!

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