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Soccer Saturday 2017/18: What We're All Waiting For

Thursday 10th August 2017
It's not long now before the Premier League kicks off for the 2017/18 season. As Jeff Stelling has no doubt pointed out already, the English Football League is already underway (where were you BT Sport?) but it's all about the top flight for many - here's what we've all been looking forward to:

How Orange Is Bianca?

Bianca Westwood is probably one of the most irritating people on television. If she has to travel outside of the M25 to her game, you're guaranteed a face like a slapped behind all afternoon and we love it. However, the best of Bianca has to be the shade of Orange she'll be for her first full Soccer Saturday of the year - odds on for David Dickinson Tangerine.

Jeff's Gimmick



We've had some cracking long running jokes on Soccer Saturday. Who can forget James Brown or 'It's a Beautyman'?
Alright, that's probably both of them ever, but Jeff will no doubt have a gimmick planned for the first Premier League Saturday of the season - fingers crossed it's something Xhaka-Laca-Boom-Boom related.

Kammy



Nothing more to say here - Ladbrokes adverts just aren't enough for some of us, especially when it's Kammy's face on a pair of double D's!

B-Advertising



Who remembers the first time they saw those irritating sponsor boards with the walking dog on them? The Pink ones? Answers on a postcard, please!

Whether you remember or not, we've had some truly awful sponsor boards since the digital system became the standard across the Premier League (and Championship) and, personally, I can't wait to see which ones will be so annoying they'll be brilliant.

Needing One More Goal



Week-on-week we'll punish ourselves with foolhardy accumulator bets. It's virtually a guarantee that up and down the country people will be glancing frantically from the vidiprinter to their mobile phones to see if that one goal they need will come in.

Expect many tales of Chesterfield letting your mates down for £40,000 - it's inevitable.

Tony Cottee's 0-0 Streak



For a man who scored nearly 300 professional goals, Tony Cottee doesn't see too many these days. You can't help but feel sorry for the Londoner as he always seems to get posted to a bore draw - even when he gets a seat in the studio, he's watching a waste of time.

How many consecutive games will Tony go without seeing a goal? Will Paddy Power offer odds? I hope so!

Merson's Mispronunciations



As some of you may know, I can't stand Paul Merson on Soccer Saturday. He's difficult to respect and even more difficult to listen to.
Last season saw such hits as; Sacary Banga, Henrikh Micktaran, Slaton Ibramavick and Rumaylo Lookalo - thankfully, there haven't been too many complicated signings for the Premier League clubs but this is a man who struggles to pronounce QPR... it could get interesting.

Jeff's Ranting



There's no question in anyone's mind that Jeff Stelling knows his stuff. He may not support the most glamorous side but he is an absolute mine of information where football is concerned - a conversation between him and Stato would never end.
However, Jeff is at his best when he jumps up on his soapbox and puts the footballing world to rights - bring it on.
Kristian Webb
A Manchester United fan who actually knows where Manchester is; I'm the chief writer for AccumulatorTips, ForzaSwansea and a contributor to WhatCulture's video game section. I'm a professional proofreader, content author and SEO Expert but that doesn't mean there won't be the odd grammatical error!

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