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The most ridiculous transfer speculations so far

Wednesday 28th June 2017
Everybody loves a good transfer rumour, what about the dumb ones? Absolutely not. Yes, gossips are inevitable during this time of the year. But when they are about some players whose only chance of joining certain teams are in fantasy football, then it becomes ridiculously hilarious and chuckling.

Here are five of such.

1 - Cristiano Ronaldo away from Real Madrid

As soon as Cristiano Ronaldo's tax allegations broke out about a fortnight ago, we all knew the rumour mill won't let us enjoy our nap with both eyes closed. As always, the 32-year-old was first linked with a return to his former club, Manchester United, who according to Mirror Football were willing to cough out £100m-plus. Actually, that's not even the gist. What we find ridiculous was the legion of clubs reportedly interested. One of which is German third-tier side, Fortuna Koln, who even made a cheeky thirst-quenching beer offer to the player. But come to think of it, why should Ronaldo even leave Real Madrid? He's playing the best football of his career, winning trophies and earning good money.

2 - Kylian Mbappe to Arsenal

Probably the biggest prank in football history. But unlike many others, none of us fell for it. Kylian Mbappe as we all know is unarguably the world's most-wanted teenager after an unbelievable season with Monaco. As a result, Real Madrid, Manchester City and Arsenal have all allegedly registered their interest. However, respected French daily L'Equipe, claims the Gunners are the first team to firm up their interest with a bid of around £87.4M. Now that's laughable owing to Arsene Wenger's history in the transfer market coupled with the fact that no European club can realistically compete with Madrid for any player.

3 - Paulinho to Barcelona

Barcelona, like seriously? Please wake me up. Common, what happened to La Masia and the Tikitaka? Exactly what is running through the minds of everyone immediately the rumours of Barca's interest in Paulinho spread like wildfire. We find this baffling for a good number of reasons. First, the Tottenham flop is by no way suited to the club's style nor everything they represent. Also at 28, he surely has had his best years in the past, not forgetting the obscurity of the league he currently plays. Perhaps, club President, Josep Bartomeu, is making good of the promise he made in May, where he claimed: "There will be signings that excite; others that perhaps less so." Obviously, the Brazillian falls into the second category.

4 - Sanchez, Aguero swap deal

From the crazy Arsenal rumour files, here's another stupid entry. According to Exclusive specialists, The Daily Star, the Gunners and Manchester City are considering a swap deal involving their superstar forwards, Alexis Sanchez and Sergio Aguero. While the deal could be beneficial to Sanchez and City, it isn't the same for the other two parties. Arsenal wouldn't want to lose their talisman to a rival team with the Argentine's endless injury history also another argument. On Aguero's part, why will he even consider moving to the Emirates where he may probably earn less and certainly not play in the Champions League?

5 - Dani Alves to Manchester City

Of all five, Dani Alves' alleged interest from Manchester City may be the only one to eventually see the light of the day. Seemingly cos Pep Guardiola does absurds things and still claims to be a genius. Alves, undoubtedly the best right-back in the world at the moment, is reportedly keen on a move to England. And it appears Guardiola is willing to offer him his first Premier League experience per The Sun. But what's so dumb about the whole gossip is - if truly Guardiola is building for the future, then why bring in a player aged 34? Won't it rather be a case of double standards, having recently forced Pablo Zabaleta (32) and Bacary Sagna (34) out of the club?
Toby Prince

If the sport has 11-men on each side, a ball and lasts for 90 minutes then I'll write about it. Simply put, I'm an unrepentant soccer freak that other freaks will, however, call a geek. I do find time for music when not watching the beautiful game, though and have been known to produce the odd track. 

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