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Things We All Hate About Soccer Saturday

Wednesday 22nd February 2017
Soccer Saturday is an essential part of supporting a football club in England and without it, we would still be relying on the SkySports app for our score updates; the modern equivalent to Teletext. However, the programme is starting to get a little out of hand and it's now so irritating that I simply can't bear to watch unless absolutely necessary. Why do you ask?

Awful Punditry

The last time I checked; Paul Merson was just a failed manager and former midfielder, Charlie Nicholas was a former player who couldn't really cut it in the Premier League, Phil Thompson was a caretaker for Liverpool during Houllier's poor spell and Matt le Tissier was a former player with an annoying voice.
Now I check again and these summations are still correct – so why do we have to listen to them chunter on about topics they know nothing about? Sky Sports expect us to listen to Paul Merson ramble on about how Jose Mourinho shouldn't have brought in Zlatan Ibrahimovic? What do they actually know? Nothing!

Oh! And STOP eating on air!

Jeff's Factoids

We all know Jeff Stelling has an incredible footballing knowledge at his disposa
l; you can't fill the role of Soccer Saturday presenter without knowing your stuff, but do we have to know everything about everyone when there are goals flying in all over the place?

Jeff informing us that Tammy Abraham has scored 21 in 38 appearances, is a Chelsea loanee, wears size ten boots, got his name from the forgotten girl's fashion brand and has a dog called Chico (some of that isn't true) before we actually go to the journalist covering the game to describe what's actually happened is rather irritating.

Most of us don't care what Marcus Rashford had for breakfast; just focus on the games and talk about them afterwards if your verbal diarrhoea can't be cured, Jeff.

Bianca Westwood

This isn't a sexist thing before you all assume it is, Bianca Westwood is very knowledgeable about her beloved West Ham United, and makes for a refreshing change every now and then to the Iain Dowie's of this world.


Bianca isn't all that wise about football outside of West Ham and it shows every time she's asked to cover a game. In fact, it shows that she doesn't actually care about the game in question most of the time. On Valentine's Day, she was so disinterested in being at the game that she flippantly announced that she would rather be elsewhere than spending the night talking to Jeff.

That's just not acceptable; thousands of journalists would do anything for her job – shame on you Bianca.
Kammy the Klown

It used to be very, VERY funny when Chris Kamara fouled up live on television but it somehow feels forced now. If you think about how Top Gear was with Chris Evans at the helm; obviously trying damned hard to be funny but just ending up cringeworthy and annoying – that.

In the last year, Kammy has called Jeff ‘Carly' yet again, somehow managed to call Bacary Sagna: Sackary Banya and nearly wet himself when Leicester City brought on Joe Dodoo as a substitute as he firmly believed the youngster's name was DooDoo.

It's still funny but it's forced funny now and Kammy is clearly retaining his job courtesy of his buffoonery rather than his ability as a journalist/commentator.
Kristian Webb
A Manchester United fan who actually knows where Manchester is; I'm the chief writer for AccumulatorTips, ForzaSwansea and a contributor to WhatCulture's video game section. I'm a professional proofreader, content author and SEO Expert but that doesn't mean there won't be the odd grammatical error!

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